Former clients and other annoyances

Here’s something that I am so not going to miss as a freelance graphic designer. Last week, I sent a small ad to a small newspaper. I had promised to do the ad before “quitting” my job and I wanted to see it through. The deadline for ad submission was August 18th, and that’s when I sent it in.

Today, August 24th I get a call on my cell phone from the newspaper. They’re having trouble placing the PDF I sent them. It’s generating PostScript errors. Can I send it again? Well, two problems here…

First, that’s not enough information. If I send the same file again, there’s a 90% chance it’s going to come up with the same error. Happens often with publishers who are either A. placing PDFs into QuarkXPress or B. using old software that doesn’t like my created-from-the-latest-version-of-InDesign PDF file. If I know exactly what they are doing with the PDF, I can make adjustments in the settings to produce a compatible file. This particular file didn’t have transparency so that gave me a lot more flexibility. All she could say was that it was “Acrobat.” Not helping me here, lady.

Second, I’m sitting here in the waiting room of a doctor’s office. I won’t be able to send the file for at least an hour or two. I could hear the panic in her voice. In other words, they waited until the last possible second to open my file and now, because they’re up against the clock I’m supposed to cancel my appointment and run home to resend the file? No, sorry, I don’t think so. I suggested that she find out from their production folks exactly what was going wrong and maybe they could tell me how I should set the PDF file so it would RIP, email me that info and I’ll take care of it when I get home. Had my appointment and the email I eventually received said they fixed the problem themselves. Oh goodie.

Last week was [the gastroenterologist.]( Today it was the gynecologist. When Eric was unemployed and our insurance was in question I kept putting off my routine exams. Now I’m catching up.

I’m telling the doctor about myself and of course, my family history with cancer comes up and he looks at my “employer” and “occupation” on the patient info form and realizes the connection.

Ladies, you know how not fun this exam is. Not quite as bad as a colonoscopy prep but it has its moments. I mean, look at this thing:

Vaginal Speculum

If a man had this device stuck up his nether regions once a year you can bet the design would have been improved and modernized with comfort in mind. I mentioned this to the doc, and he replied, “Well, when you’ve cured colorectal cancer you can have a new project.” Don’t tempt me.


2 responses to “Former clients and other annoyances”

  1. holy crap.

    I think I could’ve died happy without having whatever that device is as a mental picture.

    But as far as the PDFs… I so agree. It seems like every newspaper/magazine/anything that wants their ads in PDF format has software from the 90’s… time to upgrade folks! It’s not my fault you’re so far behind the times.

  2. It could be worse, dear…

    I used to go to performance art pieces (before I met you, of course) in Manhattan. During one (I think it was Penny Arcade performing on Avenue A), the performer inserted the “device which shall not be named”, then invited the audience to view her innards with a handheld mirror. Baring your soul is one things, but…

    Wikipedia entry on Penny:

    Eric, who’s never used a SPECULUM and hopes never to do in the future